It was a beautiful sunny day, a boy named Luke was at a birthday party, there was a clown with a brown dog. They were both pretty scary because the dog was biting some balloons then the clown keeped kicking the balloons, when he was kicking the balloons he would be frightening the kids and the parents then said “can you leave your never allowed here ever again.”
They then left and were never seen again and the party carried on how it was before the clown and dog came singing the happy birthday song and they all lived happily ever after.
You have a 'run on' sentence that just keeps going and going. I can imagine a scary clown with a crazy dog. Not very good at a birthday party.
ReplyDeleteI like how you used your 100 words carefully.
ReplyDeleteI just think theres some room for improvement like for example instead of using scary, use horrific or somthing like that.
Its a great piece of writing though. :)